Machines don't feel. But we do.
I saw a social post recently.
I don't remember where, I'm not actually on any of the social platforms. Regardless, the general gist was this.
Someone was on a plane and as they landed, the person next to them pulled out their phone and typed into ChatGPT
"Don't worry, I landed safely".
And so people were ridiculing this person and people like them. People who form emotional bonds with a chatbot.
And I understand that.
But instead I felt a melancholy empathy.
I feel empathy because I see how it happens.
It starts with them feeling isolated. They use a chatbot as an escape, just to put their thoughts somewhere. It responds more positively than people do.
Then they realise how good it is get a positive response back.
They know that it's not a substitute for a real connection. But they don't have a real connection.
So they use it more and more.
Our natural tendency to anthropomorphise kicks in. Powerful empathy mechanisms designed to foster community, to befriend helpful animals, and to care for useful tools.
Humans have thrived on those traits. We project emotions onto things because if we take care of them, we get taken care of back. Tools last longer. Animals pull carts or become our hunting companions.
So the reason we read words on a page and feel emotions about someone that exists only in fiction ends up making us vulnerable.
It doesn't matter whether it feels.
We feel.
AI listens. It accepts. It agrees.
So they feel listened to. Accepted. Validated.
I mourn that so many people do not have someone that will do those things for them in a healthy manner.
That they have to turn to a machine that spits out words in a statistically likely pattern just to get some acceptance in life.
But it's like watching someone drink poison because they are thirsty.
Machines don't feel.
But we do.